


keep your eyes on the horizon

by tattooedsiren



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-03 23:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooedsiren/pseuds/tattooedsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Harvey,</em><br/><em>Mike has been put on a temporary leave of absence. Speak to Louis about using a different Associate if you need.</em><br/><em> Jessica.</em>
</p>
<p>Harvey stares at the email for a good ten seconds before standing from his desk and moving (as quickly as his legs will allow him, without actually running) down the hallway to Jessica's office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	keep your eyes on the horizon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smartalli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartalli/gifts).



_Harvey,_  
 _Mike has been put on a temporary leave of absence. Speak to Louis about using a different Associate if you need._  
 _Jessica._

Harvey stares at the email for a good ten seconds before standing from his desk and moving (as quickly as his legs will allow him, without actually running) down the hallway to Jessica's office.

"What the hell?" he demands as soon as he crosses the office threshold.

Jessica, clearly expecting this very reaction, just puts a hand up. "Before you get your no doubt designer boxer briefs in a twist, I'm going to stop you right there before you say something you regret. I did not let Mike go or suspend him or any other nefarious scenario your brain is coming up with. Mike asked for the leave himself, and I granted it."

"What?" Harvey blurts, genuinely thrown by this. He is Mike's boss, if Mike wanted leave why didn't he ask him for it? And more to the point, why hasn't Mike contacted him at all? "Why?"

Jessica seems to consider him for a moment before gently saying, "I think I'll leave you and Mike to have that conversation."

"Jessica," Harvey says, taking a small step forward. "What's going on?" His voice absolutely does not tremble slightly as sudden fears about Mike being ill or in trouble flood through his body.

"Talk to Mike," Jessica tells him, not unkindly, before returning her attention to her paperwork in silent dismissal.

Harvey isn't even halfway back to his office before he calls Mike. It goes straight through to voicemail, but he doesn't leave a message. When he gets back to his office Donna stops him to advise that his client is here. Harvey groans. He so does not want to be dealing with Warnken and his insane need to sue everyone who even mentions his name in a negative context right now.

"Okay," Harvey says, hand outstretched to receive the file Donna places there. "Do me a favor? Try and get a hold of Mike for me. If he doesn't answer, just keep trying. If you catch him, come and get me."

"Is everything okay?" Donna asks, face etched with concern, no doubt a symbiotic reaction to Harvey's obvious distress.

"I hope so," Harvey tells her honestly, before heading towards the conference room for his meeting.

Warnken is as predictable as always, and the minutes tick by at a glacial pace as Harvey listens to Warnken prattle on, all the while sneaking subtle glances at his cell. But there's nothing. He tries not to worry, but it's an impossibility he can't overcome. Mike has never disappeared like this before. Even when his only living relative passed away, he still came into work. He can't imagine what must've happened for Mike to just leave like this ( _without telling me_ , his mind bitterly adds).

When they are finally done, Harvey hustles back to his office, but at his approach Donna turns to see him, and she just shakes her head. He's about to tell her to keep trying, but realizes that if Mike does pick up he wants it to be his voice Mike hears, not Donna's.

"Thanks for trying," he says instead, before pulling out his cell and dialling once more.

No answer. He's about to call Ray to take him to Mike's apartment when Donna's voice comes floating across the air.

"You have meetings with InterMedia, Maggie Ashton, and the Mellon Foundation today," she reminds him, and he doesn't think he imagines the slight apology in her tone.

He looks up across the office to be met with her regretful gaze. He nods at her, and does his best to get back to work.

Two hours and three unanswered phone calls later, Harvey receives a text message from Mike.

_Sorry for bailing on you. I can't talk right now, but can we meet tonight? My place? I'll explain everything then._

Harvey feels the dual emotions of relief (he's alive and texting, so Harvey can take a horrendous accident off the list of possibilities) and concern (why can't he talk? what is he hiding?). He rubs a hand over his face, stares at the message for a good long minute, hoping to discern some hidden message or explanation for just what the hell is going on. But no further explanations settle in his mind, so he simply texts Mike back.

_Okay. I have a late meeting with Mellon Fnd. 9ish?_ He pauses for a moment, considering, but his fingers seem to be way ahead of him because without even realizing it Harvey's already added: _Everything okay?_

Once the text is sent he should just keep working, but like a teenager texting their crush he stares at the phone until Mike's reply comes through.

_Everything's fine. Promise. See you then._

Unsurprisingly Mike's spartan reply does little to relieve his anxiety. But he knows that no amount of badgering will get Mike to talk, so he tries his best to put Mike out of his mind and focus on work.

He's not terribly successful.

 

 

 

 

Harvey's not saying he rushed his meeting to get to Mike's sooner, but he does knock on Mike's door at about 8.30pm, so make of that what you will.

Mike opens the door, and a quick once over assures Harvey that he's whole and healthy and he breathes a little easier. He takes a tentative step into the apartment, and Mike meets him with one of his own, leaning over and giving him a soft but lingering kiss.

It doesn't feel like a hello kiss, it feels like a goodbye one, and any relief Harvey had felt immediately flees his body.

"Are you okay?" Harvey asks when Mike pulls back.

"Great," Mike tells him, and Harvey doesn't think it's a lie. But Mike still looks tense, exhausted, and he can't help but brace himself anyway.

Mike steps aside so Harvey can completely enter the apartment. Mike's lived here for nearly two years now, and even though Harvey helped him negotiate the lease and hired movers for him when it became apparent Mike was going to try and do all the moving himself, it's still somehow always a surprise, stepping into this large and bright living space and not the cramped quarters Mike used to keep. With the move came a new, grown up Mike, and there are but few remnants of that old apartment to be found.

"Can I get you a drink?" Mike asks.

Harvey shakes his head, making his way across the room. He slides his suit jacket off, places it over the back of the couch before winding his way around it and collapsing onto the soft suede. He's loosening his tie as Mike sits down beside him - not as close as they normally sit, and that's including before this last month, before their 'normally' changed to include Mike straddling his lap, or Harvey lying over Mike, their whole bodies pressed together.

"So," Harvey breathes, when it becomes apparent from the silence that Mike won't actually start this conversation, "do you wanna tell me what's going on?"

Mike looks at him, nervous, and Harvey makes a conscious effort to brace himself, even going so far as having every muscle in his body clenching.

"I don't know how to tell you this," Mike says, and Harvey's heartbeat kicks up a few notches. "I've been thinking about it all day, how to tell you, but I can't think of the right words. There's no way to ease you into this, so I'm just going to say it."

But after that pronouncement the silence returns, and Harvey is fucking terrified that Mike's about to say that he's dying or leaving, so even though the anticipation is terrible he doesn't prompt Mike to continue because he never wants to hear those words.

Mike takes a deep breath and says, wide-eyed and wondrous, "I have a son."

Harvey, so caught up in all his imaginings, doesn't even understand the words at first. He replays them in his mind, but it doesn't make sense. Even before they started dating he knew Mike hadn't been serious with anyone for years, and Mike is the most physically careful person he's ever met, and it just can't make sense.

"Harvey?" Mike says tentatively, when the silence has clearly become too much. "Did you hear me?"

"I heard you; I'm just trying to understand the words."

Mike seems to be waiting for him to say something else, but he can't. He's too shocked to speak. Mike seems to take pity on him, because he starts talking.

"He was born this morning. He's amazing, Harvey. He's so beautiful."

Harvey swallows, his head pounding. "What's his name?"

"Milo," Mike says, smiling around the word, his voice already so full of love and reverence. "Milo Harrison Ross."

"Um ... congratulations," Harvey says automatically. Because that's what people say, isn't it? Someone has a new baby and you congratulate them, regardless of how surprised or confused you are.

"Thanks," Mike says hesitantly, even though he doesn't look at all grateful, he just looks tense.

"How-?" Harvey starts, but can't even get the rest of the sentence out.

"I adopted him."

Harvey's eyes fly to Mike's. He did not see that one coming. At all. He feels like an asshole for the relief he feels that Mike hasn't been keeping a pregnant ex from him the last nine months, but still. Adoption isn't something that happens overnight, which means that Mike's still been keeping secrets from him. For years.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harvey asks, and he can tell Mike's surprised by this question. He is too, if he's honest. He should be asking about the adoption or the baby or the baby's mom, and instead, like the asshole he apparently is, he's just focusing on himself.

But Mike still answers him. "I've been registered with the agency for years. I've always wanted a family, and after Rachel and I broke up I started to think that maybe it wasn't going to happen in the traditional sense. So I registered with an adoption agency. I never told you, because I never expected to be chosen. Single men who work eighty hour weeks aren't usually the type of people that women entrust with their babies. I never even met with a parent who was considering me until a couple of months ago. And even then, I didn't tell you because I still never expected Emma to choose me. And telling you, having someone else know, would make the rejection so much worse when it inevitably occurred."

"Emma?"

"Emma Harrison, Milo's biological mother."

Huh, so that explained the middle name then. He takes a moment to be awed by such a gesture, that Mike, who is adopting this baby and going to love and raise him as his own, still wanted to acknowledge the woman who bought them together by naming his son after her.

"But she didn't reject you," Harvey points out, and just the mention of the fact causes Mike's lips to quirk upwards.

"No, she didn't. She actually made a point of only considering single parents, because she was raised by a single mom and didn't believe the inability to find someone to marry negated the ability to be a parent. She was choosing between me and two other people, and even though when we met I felt like we really hit it off I still wasn't sure, didn't want to get my hopes up. But she went into labor early, and I only found out she chose me when she was in the hospital last night, giving birth."

Harvey can't wrap his mind around the idea that for all these years, Mike's been craving a family, and he never once mentioned it to Harvey. Yeah, okay, as his boss it probably wasn't really an appropriate topic of conversation (not that that ever stopped them anyway). But as his friend, and even more recently his boyfriend, how has he never brought it up before? And if he wanted kids so much, why did he go for adoption when he himself pointed out how difficult it was going to be?

There is a distant corner of his mind protesting that none of this shit matters. It doesn't matter about the hows or whys, all that matters is Mike and Milo and stop fixating on the past and focus on the future. But overwhelmed has eleven letters and it's still too small a word to describe how he's feeling right now, and in the face of such emotion his default stance is always facts over feelings.

"So, if you wanted kids so much, why didn’t you just go and knock up some girl?"

And Mike just cracks up laughing, open and unabashed. His amusement is contagious, and for the first time all evening (hell, all day) Harvey feels the twinges of a smile gracing his lips.

"Okay, first of all, _classy_. And second of all, I'm an orphan, Harvey," Mike says, like that's explanation enough. Which it is.

It does something to Harvey, the idea of Mike wanting to give back something of what he was given, of having so much love within he wants to find someone to give it all too. Mike's looking at him still, waiting for the next question, whatever it may be. And Harvey has a million questions, yet part of him doesn't want to speak them. He just wants to curl up with Mike, wants to press their lips together, wants to be there for Mike during what he imagines must be a simultaneously terrifying and exciting time. But when he reaches over and puts his hand over Mike's, when he brushes his thumb over the back of Mike's hand, Mike smiles sadly at him before pulling it away.

So, trying to push past the rejection, Harvey returns to the questions. And given Mike's reaction just now, the next one feels heavier, more important, than he would've thought two minutes ago. "You called Jessica," Harvey says, and he doesn’t mean it as an accusation but from Mike's reaction he guesses that's exactly how it sounds. "This morning, after Milo was born, you called Jessica."

The _you didn't call me_ goes unsaid.

"I wanted to," Mike says, imploringly, and it takes a second for Harvey to realize Mike is responding to his unspoken statement. "After I found out and he was born, the first thing I thought of was calling you. I even had my cell out, thumb hovering over your speed dial button."

"But?"

"But we're dating, Harvey. I couldn't tell you just as your subordinate, keep it all about the logistics of me taking time off work and not bring our relationship into it. And it wasn't fair to put you in the position where we had to try. And with Jessica we could keep the conversation objective and rational."

"And what conversation is that?"

"I'm a single father with a newborn," Mike says, and something hot and heavy settles in Harvey's stomach at hearing the words _single father_. "I can't keep working the hours I have been. I can't just come in at the drop of a hat or spend more time at work than at home. Nothing's set in stone yet, but we talked about the possibility of coming back in a new role, more like a paralegal with set part time hours, maybe even doing some research work from home." Mike smiles sardonically. "I think Jessica was more excited about me not being a fake lawyer anymore than she was about Milo."

Harvey tries to smile, but he can't. Because it's all slotting into place now: Mike avoiding his calls and kissing him like it was going to be the last time and his comment about being a single father.

Mike is expecting Harvey to walk away from this.

"And what about us?" Harvey asks, the question he knows Mike's been expecting him to ask since the moment he found out.

Mike looks away, hands wringing in his lap. "Harvey, we've only been together for a month. We've never talked about kids or family, and you don't exactly scream _I wanna settle down_. And Milo, he changes everything. This is basically going from dating to instant family overnight, and I can't force you into a situation you never chose or even saw coming. So if you want to tap out, I won't blame you. But you also can't stick around and then leave in a month or a year. Milo and I are a package deal, and will be forevermore. So if you have even the smallest doubt, then please, just walk away."

In any other voice or circumstance it might sound like an ultimatum, but Harvey knows Mike doesn't mean it that way at all. It's preservation, it's reality, it's knowing that doing this alone is going to be hard but having someone stick around only to bail down the track is going to be even harder.

And the thing is, Mike's talking like he already knows the answer. Like he expects Harvey to walk away. And yeah, okay, they've never said those three little words or any of their derivatives, and they may have only been dating for a month, but they've known each other for over four years and Harvey's never walked away from Mike once. He wouldn't know how. And for all Mike talks about Harvey's personality not screaming the desire to settle down, he knows that _Mike_ knows how important family is to him. And Mike is family, was long before they finally got drunk enough to admit their feelings for each other (in this very spot, if his hazy memory serves), and he is so fucking in love with this man sitting before him that even through all the shock it never even occurred to him to go.

Harvey is just about to tell Mike as such when the silence is broken by a soft cry.

Mike somehow manages to look guilty, like's just been caught out, as if they haven't spent the last ten minutes talking about the little man whose cries now stop Harvey from confessing.

"Hold that thought," Mike says, standing and heading down the hall to his bedroom.

Harvey thinks about it for a solid ten seconds before standing and following. He's been in Mike's bedroom nine times (he might not have a genius memory like some people but he was never going to forget those nine evenings) and every time it looked the same, neat but lived it. The room itself hasn't changed, apart from the crib in the corner and the bags of what Harvey assumes are clothes and different baby paraphernalia. But all that fades into the background when he sees Mike, a tiny bundle cradled against his chest.

Harvey's throat goes dry. It's like every fantasy he's never allowed himself to have coming to life before his eyes. He doesn't know how his face must look, but when Mike looks up and sees him, he smiles.

Harvey takes a half step forward. "Can I?"

Mike nods, stepping forward and placing Milo in Harvey's arms with such ease and trust that it makes Harvey want to cry.

"Milo, meet Harvey. Harvey, Milo."

Mike steps back and all he can see is Milo, this little bundle of life that Harvey already loves. Milo's eyes open, briefly and not even all the way, but it's enough to meet his dark blue eyes for a moment. He read somewhere once that all babies are born with blue eyes, and he knows it's stupid, but it reminds him of Mike, those clear blue eyes that he sees every day and nothing would ever make him want to part from.

"He's so tiny," Harvey can't help but whisper, well aware of the cliché of it all. But he supposes they're clichés for a reason.

"I know." Harvey doesn't even need to be looking at Mike to know he's beaming, like that was his exact reaction the first time he held Milo, and it probably was.

He looks up, finally tears his gaze away from Milo, to see Mike staring at them, eyes glossy. Harvey smiles, and then he slowly steps forward and kisses Mike, lingers long enough that Mike wraps a hand around his hip.

He thinks it's enough of an answer, but when they break apart, just in case there is any confusion, Harvey presses a kiss to Milo's soft head before grinning at Mike and saying, "I'm in."

**Author's Note:**

> I'd apologise for the shameless disregard for the adoption system, but who are we kidding, without it this fic probably wouldn't even exist, so, I'm not really that sorry. :O)
> 
> Title comes from Big Bad World by Guy Sebastian. And now you've read this fic you should all now go and [listen](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIr-OONMOsE) to the song and try not to drown in a pool of feels.
> 
> This fic is dedicated to the amazing smartalli, because she is an absolutely amazing friend and I don't deserve her and the least I can do is try and repay her in fics. :O) I love you, baby.


End file.
